Sorry…

I am sorry for not being sorry… let me start there…

I am sorry for not being sorry for removing myself so abruptly from your bullshit… I guess that wasn’t fair…

but no one apologized for leaving me in the dark, while they sunbathed in the sunlight… so unfortunately… I am not inclined to care…

I am sorry for not being sorry that I kicked the wasp nest that was hidden in my family's closet. I know the truth stings… but ignoring what I needed to survive was becoming a little too normal for me… and if I didn’t do something, I would have lost it…

I am sorry for not being sorry about taking my love away… you weren’t shit, and you found a new girl anyway… stop acting for people… we were in shambles anyway… you wanted me to hurt in silence… but I hurt out loud anyway… you could  have tried to get me back… but you didn’t. Sorry for not being sorry about spending those days with that other guy… because waiting for you made me want to die…and he helped take some of my hurt away

I am sorry for not being sorry about being a shitty friend… the thing is I woke up one day and didn’t really care if it all came to an end… I couldn’t, nor did i wish to live up to your impossible expectations… I grew tired of your ridiculous demands… I still have love for you… but I am going to have to love you from a distance… my heart is on the mend currently… but our time is over… I am sorry for not being sorry about finding joy in our separation… I hope you as well can find some real closure…

I write my truth, I am sorry for not being sorry that I finally have standards… you try to smack me in the face with my past mistakes… but fuck you though… better late than never… I am sorry for not being sorry that I refuse to fix another asshole… but the thought of fixing you for you to leave me to make the next chick WHOLE… is something that won’t work for my broken soul…

I wish I could be sorry… but I am so not..

It is purely about me and my needs now…

I have been through enough to know that I am all I’ve got…