Lovely Baby Number Never…

Maybe pretty in pink… or dashing in blue….

I bet any color would’ve looked great on you…

I feel so useless for not being ready for you…

I feel so foolish for not believing in you…

My third piece of heavens pie…

Forever will I be asking why…

Why couldn’t you come at a better time…

Shit… is there even a better time?

I kept a picture so I can remember what was almost mine..,

I wish people would stop asking, because I will never be fine.

But they will never know… I will forever be lying…

They just wouldn’t even get it…

Say hi to Peaches in heaven… my little almost blessing…

I hope you don’t hate me…

I hope you know how sorry I am that I wasn’t ready…

Forever I will be scarred from waking up feeling you getting ripped out my belly…

Pretty in pink… or dashing in blue…

I never did deserve you…

Did you hear me tell you I’m sorry over and over?

I wish I could’ve heard you…

Nothing is easy… that’s the story of my whole life…

I grab this empty grave of a womb… and it feel like it was stabbed by an old knife…

I sit and look at your sister… and gaze at your brother…

My promise to you is that I won’t make another…

My promise to you is that I will be a better mother…

My lovely baby number never… your place will always be a mystery…

And I will always wonder… what could’ve been…

just know losing you… took a piece of me…