I Would Rather…

I would rather be alone than to settle for being ALMOST number one… I have tried to force love… I tried to win a man’s heart by buying it… but i never won… so skip it.. That phase is done…

I would rather masturbate than to be filled with some “sometimey” dick and self hate… sitting around wishing I was pretty enough for an actual date…instead of a boy in a man’s body… always falling short when it comes to me… like I am a nobody… always showing up late… I don’t find it appealing to only dream of being loved, only to be fucked over while I am awake…

 

Nah… that is not my reality… I did not come this far to accept that fate.

I would rather be single, and when I want some quick loving… to choose to go mingle… then to spend years of my life as someone’s overlooked treasure… because the feeling of being slept on is the worst… it leaves me feeling lower than dirt… and I get ZERO pleasure… just unneeded pressure… and I deserve the best, maybe even better…

I am my own happy ending… don’t need a man or woman trying to bend me in any direction that could possible end me…. I can  continue on my own since I’ve truly been that way since the beginning…

 

I would rather date myself.. .than to courted by a man okay with impeding on my wealth… because I love my self… I’d rather be more than a trophy, I am way too pretty to be on some weak man’s shelf..

I’d rather look back over the years and know I cried less tears… praising myself for saying fuck my fears…holding only me, myself and my children near…

I would rather love on me… than to give a fuck about a “HE”… I mean a partner would be nice… as long as he doesn’t hinder me…

I would rather keep on writing my own title… than to be with a man who is indecisive… because if off jump he doesn’t choose me.. I really don’t care about who he sides with…

I am an equal not a sidekick… too much of an entree’ be a side dish… so fool dream on… I am no ones side bitch… not really trying to be a ride or die bitch… but if I ever did have to ride for someone… you will not find weakness in my kindness…

I would rather be a woman about my life… I would rather accept my truths and have a honest outlook on my life… I can’t wait to get to point where I can laugh at the downfalls in my life… and that point is so near because I am finally happy with my life…

I would rather live a ugly ass truth… because there is some real peace in living honest… and that’s the ugly ass truth… I could write a song now and it would be more beautiful than your lies…Because though life ain’t always pretty… honesty, rawness, beauty is all I write… I bet you wish I lied.. Because the truth you cannot live with… but see when you are honest you deserve forgiveness… But I cannot grow with anyone who can sit in a pot of lies… dwelling with the devil is just something I can not live with

 

Shots FIRED…Yea I said it… Oh yes I did…and don’t forget it…

I would rather raise my kids to be okay with being alone, then to be the example some of you are setting…

Nah, the way some people settle is depressing… there is no human that is that much of a blessing… to have me on the floor screaming, crying and stressing… I don’t have any time or vibe for a love that has me second guessing…

I would rather be on my own.. I am better off alone… I refuse to be a drained under-fucked and unloved drone… I do not wish to dwell in uncertainty… Today I stand here and my Insecurities are gone… I am finally strong enough to notice what is not good for me… I can see it for what it is… and just move on…
Look at me being all strong…. Picture me with Mr. Right… since I fearlessly walked away from Mr. Wrong…I chose to love me for once,  I wish I loved me all along… because the time I spent with him is dead and gone…  But I at least have a valuable lesson to carry on…