For Me..

My roommate, who also happens to be my ex, didn’t come home last night… he took his toothbrush. Probably to brush her juices off… because he always eats it before he has sex.

I am somewhere near being over him. Though, I can be honest with myself and admit that him staying out did not make me feel great… I don’t hold any anger in my heart, “Resentment” was the title of Chapter 27… Finally and thankfully, I have approached Chapter 28… My former lover was not the one… I begged him and tried to force him to be… But I lost, and I could’ve never won… I used to repeatedly push my fragile heart on his already shattered plate… Well, his little stupid saucer… which ended up leaving me feeling inadequate, and awful. I needed and yearned for more space… My heart is something like colossal, full of passion and foolishly… I yearned for life… out of a bitter, cold and inevitably dead fossil… of  a heart.. and he warned me. I knew he was cold from the start… so I guess it’s all on me…

I reflect on my now completed chapter…. Oh poor little bitch 27… she was the emptiest I had ever been, she didn’t know there was more to life to chase then those bums she went after…. So I have no choice but to fill myself back up in 28…

I just wanna announce that I will only fill me up with things that are FOR ME. I am ready to be whole again, or dare I say be whole for the first time. I am so tired to have never been more woke… I am ready for what I know is mine… I understand that there will be battles, I can handle it. I will be fine.  

You think I give a second of my day to stress about a minor setback? You think I am scared of the mountains I will climb? Only a moron believes victory is without battle… Never again will I be defeated… through the temporary darkness, I will shine…

Hello there everyone… Welcome to Chapter 28 of my story… I hope that through my honesty you can have more faith in your story… sometimes even the underdogs get the glory…

I just want what is for me…

I want my kids to fucking adore me… I want my fans to never ignore me… I want my sisters and brothers to keep rooting for me… and haters can just scram they’re starting to bore me…  its getting pretty annoying…

Where am I going? I just wanted to speak some real talk, man… what am I doing… is there any truth in the fire I am spewing?

By the way, can I meet a brother that can bring more than a penis to screw me… can they bring intellect and a genuine career they’re pursuing? Can I meet a nerd with some real humbleness to him? Like yea he’s smart but that edge has all the girls trying to do him…

But can he just be for me? Can he just want to eat with me? Now that I know my worth, I am done with fucking jerks, that shit is so dead to me… I want a man who doesn’t make me make excuses because loves me totally… and one who isn’t trying to make a fool of me…

Because I am no one’s fool you see… couldn’t be if I tried to be… I need a man who would never entertain my enemies… I need a man who is going to always side with me…

Because I need to know that somewhere on earth there is a man with true loyalty…

                And that there is a man who wants to treat me like royalty…

But if that asshole never came, I would be fine just the same, because I love the shit out of me… So I can just spoil me… my self, my little lady and my boy you see… I won’t settle for bullshit anymore, not in Chapter 28, no way because I have some kids I need to make proud of me…